I woke up this morning at 3.45 feeling slightly unhinged, an anxiety gnawing away at my insides, I feel too tired for this, too weary. I feel overloaded, overwhelmed by the media coverage over recent weeks of the EU Referendum and as I check the time on my phone, I immediately catch sight of the newsfeed. The headlines increase my anxiety and I know I am not going to get back to sleep. I make my way downstairs to get myself a drink, hopefully by the time I have finished drinking it my anxiety will have shifted and I will be calm enough to do some meditation or even some yoga. I make a pledge to myself that today I won’t turn on the TV, I won’t look at my phone, in fact I am going to turn it off. Why? Because I will not allow myself to be subjected to the hatred and negativity that is being portrayed in the media, whether that is social or mainstream, it’s untenable.
In the peace and quiet of my home and maybe in the garden (if the rain stops) I will remember that despite everything that is being bounced around the media I am still a human being, who loves being part of Earth, our amazing beautiful universe and I still see its wonder no matter what happens, I feel lucky and grateful to be able to experience it. I love my fellow human beings there is so much talent, so much skill, so much knowledge between them I admire and I am inspired by them all. I love listening to their stories, challenges that they have over come, their ability to love despite hardships, trails and tribulations. We are as humans amazing capable of so much love, care and kindness, that is our common goal. From all the places I have travelled around the world over the years and the one thing that struck me the most is that whatever country you are in we as humans are all the same, we have the same fears, worries, problems, we love the same, we care the same and we can be kind. I found it so comforting to see that, that no matter what country you are from, gender, race, colour as humans we are the same, the barriers are not really there if you don’t want them to be.
I am heartbroken we have left the EU, and for the divisions that seem to have appeared across Europe, amongst the countries of the U.K, the hatred and the scaremongering, the fighting talk, the exaggerated press talk, the spin. It is all too much.
I voted to Remain in the EU because when I finally turned off the constant noise of the media spin i realised that my reasons for staying had nothing to do with what the politicians were saying, it had nothing to do with what my friends were saying or the newspapers. I realised it was about being true to myself, it was about sticking to my roots. With Italian and Polish Grandparents and Welsh and Irish Great Grandparents it just felt right to be part of something bigger. My genetic makeup is wider than being English. It was about what I loved about myself and my friends that are English, Welsh, Scottish, Irish, French, Italian and the rest of the world.
I like everybody is feeling uncertain at this moment in time, I actually feel displaced. I do admit to feeling frightened of the future. However what I do know is that as much as I am fearful I know that it is love that wins out in the end, it really doesn’t matter what the fear is and over the coming weeks, months, years I will be focusing on just that.